Chapter 22

Her last email was the 'Dear Jon' letter that hit him where it really hurt.  As he read it, he could feel the wind being slowly knocked out of him.  By the end of the email, he had tears in his eyes. 

 

With one deliberate swoop, he slams the laptop closed and sits there, with his head in his hands.  He can't believe what he just read, he can't believe that she's being so stubborn.  He takes a moment and gathers his composure, knowing that there are a few things he needs to do before he flies to Philly.

He gets up and grabs his towel, heading down the hall for the showers.  His offices are his offices, he still used a dressing room.  As he walked the cold hall to his dressing room, he makes zero eye contact with anyone in the hall.  The smell of the place stung his nose and he remembers Olivia complaining about the stench backstage.  He laughs when he remembers that she said it smells like the dead. 

His thoughts continue on to Olivia being backstage and he reminds himself that when she was backstage, they had to act like they were in a professional relationship.  There was no boyfriend girlfriend behavior backstage, Jon can now see that there were times that that bothered Olivia. 


He can see her in his mind, he can see her drop her head when he would introduce her, she was always family friend and family doctor.  The coldness of the hall way, and the dim light really made him feel down now. 


He sees more and more now, the signs that she gave him over the years, that he should have seen then.  If he had looked, he would have seen that as the time went on and the closer that they got, Olivia was unhappy with the arrangement.

His dressing room is full of flowers and random items from the local sports teams, the things that they always get backstage.  He looks at it all and thinks to himself, "I'll get Dawn to donate this." 


The door slams behind him and he takes a seat on the black leather couch that travels with him.  He kicks off his shoes and pulls off his socks.  Looking around the room, he's feels the emptiness and is saddened by it. 

The rumble that he hears from the fans as they leave the arena is starting to irritate him, everything is pissing him off now. 


He knows that he needs to kick it in the ass and shower, his whirly bird is waiting to take him to the airport.  The executive airport where the band jet is waiting.  With a sigh and a frown, he heads in and takes a quick shower, noticing that the rumble is getting quieter. 

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"Man, are you okay?"  David asks Jon as he climbs into the limo.  "What happened out there tonight?"  Jon looks up and him and gives him a look that says, "I'm in no mood to talk about it."  But that's not what David seen.  "You fucked up your own song, what's going on?"

"Yeah, what's up Jon?"  Richie asks with heavy sarcasm.  "You forgot the words to Prayer, who forgets the words to Prayer?"

Tico chimes in, "NO ONE!"

Jon looks at the boys and tells them all, "Just leave me alone."

"Look man, we know that you filed for divorce and we're sorry to hear that, but it's time.  You haven't been happy in a long time and if the divorce is what you need to get you out of this fucking gloom and doom, then God speed to you my friend - but now your gloom and doom is affecting the band."  Richie stresses to him, he wanted to be sure that they knew that he was going through something and the divorce is just the icing on the cake.  "We're here for you, but man, you gotta get it together."

"I will." Jon barks. "I will."

"What's going on?"  Tico asks him, "Is it that doctor friend of yours?"

Jon nods his head and looks out the window, "Yeah, it's all her."

"Is she not playing nice?"  Dave questions, not really knowing what's going on with him and the doctor.

"That's just it.  She's not playing.  She doesn't want me to bother her anymore."

"What the fuck?"  Richie jests, "Are you serious?"

Again, Jon nods, "She wanted more and I didn't give it to her quick enough."

"Like what?"  Richie asks.  "What did she want that you didn't give her?"

"Me.  She wanted more from me, in a relationship, and I drug my feet." Jon tells them, not taking his eyes of the passing scenery that they pass on the way to the airport.  "She needed me and I wasn't there.  She wanted me and I wasn't there.  I needed her and I wasn't there.  It's a mess."

Tico hates to get involved, the little that he knew about Olivia, he liked her and thought that she was just what Jon needed.  She challenged him mentally, emotionally and professionally.  She was the kick in the ass that he needed from time to time and T knows that, "Where is she?"

"Probably on her way to Salt Lake City."

"FOR WHAT?"  again, Richie jumps into the conversation.

Jon looks at him, "She was offered a job up there and she accepted it.  She sounded very excited about it."

"Well, that isn't going to work."  David adds.  "How can you go get her when she's all the way in SLC?"

"I can't.  She wants to be free of me and my demands, my schedule and my lawyer."