Chapter 20

 

How can I just forget her?  How can she expect me to go on with life and act like what we had was nothing?  How could I go on so long treating her like she was nothing?  She deserved better, she deserves the best.  

Jon gets up from the couch and has a stern talk with himself, feeling the pit in his stomach, feeling like he has lost everything? His everything.  The walls were closing in on him and the air was getting thick,  he knew it was a matter of time before he exploded.  He's not sure what to do,  He can't even remember ever feeling like this.  

His steps get wider as he paces the room.  How could you be such an asshole Jon?  All she wanted was to be with you.  She didn't want your money, she cared jack shit about your fame and you treated her like she was garbage.  The self conversation goes on for a while,  it even gets to the point where he's playing both sides.  

Did you really treat her that bad?  She knew what this was when she agreed to it, she signed on all the dotted lines.  When he hears those words, his heart breaks a little and he reminds himself. She just wanted the fun and games, why did she change the rules?

In his private backstage office, he helps himself to a bottle of water and tries to distract himself, but he didn't do a very good job.  His thoughts go back to Olivia, but this time they go back to the last time that they made love.  How could we go from being as close as we were to not even talking?  Why did you let her go Jon?  

Of all the women, in all of the land, you pick this one.  Why her? He asks himself.  Because she's smart, she's beautiful and she makes you happy.  Why did you have to lose her to see that?  She vibrant, energetic, educated and the sex we had was amazing.   She was the yin to my yang, she was left, I was right, I was down and she was up......why did you let her walk away?  She gave herself to you on your conditions, and complained very little.   You took advantage of her and her kindness, her loyalty and her love.  You knew Jon, you knew she was falling for you.

While he was upset and while he had the nerve, he responds to her last email.  It's short and sweet, and her reply will decide his next move.

Olivia,

I love you and I need to see you.  We can't end it like this.  You mean too much to me.  Please call me.

Jon