Chapter 8

Olivia knows as she closes the door that she just said goodbye to the best and the worst thing that has ever happened to her.  He drove her crazy and he made her mad, but when they were together, he was all that she needed. 

He was her best friend on many levels and her worst enemy on others.  But she knows that she can't go on in this secret relationship.  She deserves, and in her mind so does he, to be happy and to be happy in public.

Locking the deadbolt, she takes a deep breath and whispers, "Goodbye, Jon."  She's hurting on the inside and it's starting to show on the outside, she can't fight the tears, she can't swallow the lump in her throat.  "He made it to your graduation, that's something, right?"  She asks herself.  But then she answers herself, "It's a little too late, Liv, you know that."  After a few moments she's able to life her head off the door and make her way into the bathroom.  She's removing the make up that has ran down her cheeks, wiping her swollen eyes, she looks at herself in the mirror and shakes her head.  That's all she can do, that's all she wants to do.

Jon leaves the Manhattan apartment building with his head hung low and his heart still in the paper bag.  He's finally feeling what he should have felt all along, or maybe he's just realizing that what he's feeling is what it is.  He loves her.  He's finally seeing that even though it's only been two years into the agreement, he loves her and he's done nothing but take advantage of her.  He has taken her spirit and her for granted and he's hoping that he can undo what he has done to her. 

When he reaches the car, he tells the driver to take him to New Jersey, he wants to go home, where he can be alone.  The kids are with Dorothea at the SoHo apartment, where they went this afternoon when he decided to attend Olivia's graduation.  He sits in the back of the car, watching the cars and buildings pass by.  His cell phone in his hand is almost too much to handle.  He wants to call her, he wants to hear her voice.  He cannot accept that it's really over.  Not only did he love her, but she signed on the dotted line.  How can she think that it's really over.  She has to know that she is legally bound to uphold her end of the contract, or there could be legal repercussions.  She could lose everything that she has, if he decides to pursue it legally.  Even if legally would out him and them.

Olivia climbs into bed and tries very hard to fall asleep.  She's frustrated by her visit and even more anxious about her future.  Her night was perfect, until she climbs into the car, and she was looking forward to what her future held.  The future that she chose, without Jon.  Dozing off is ruined by the thoughts that pop into her head and make her open her eyes.  Her heart starts to race and she can't help but wiggle her feet.  She doesn't recall ever having an anxiety attack of this level.  She tosses and turns, getting more and more frustrated by the memory of what Jon said.  I filed for divorce played on repeat, over and over. 

Olivia keeps looking at the clock, the minutes pass by slowly and she decides that she could make better use of her time, instead of laying in bed doing nothing.  She gets up and pulls her robe on.  Slipping her feet into her slippers, she ties the robe closed and leaves her bedroom.  She stops in the hallway, dazed for a moment - not sure of what she wants to do.  She decides that she'll go into her studio and try to paint.  Painting usually helps her unwind and it's been a while since she has painted.  At her canvas, she lets her mood lead the way.  Reds, yellows, blues and purples seem to be the colors of choices........

When Jon gets home, he heads out into his studio and tries to blow of steam himself.  He figures that he will mix the stuff that he and Richie laid earlier in the week and make good use of his time, too.  He's working on a song called Something To Believe In and can totally relate with what they have written.  The lyrics are quintessential Bon Jovi and Jon is loving the bass drum that Tico laid down.  It's a very powerful song, musically.   He runs it over and over, backing it up, fast forwarding it, backs it up...........all that someone does when they are shooting for perfect.  And Jon needs them all to be perfect, this album was important to him because it's the first one without Alec. 

Firing Alec was a move that the band made and they made it after many talks, warnings and ultimatums.  Alec decided that he wasn't going to be told how to act and let the band fire him.  His partying and nonsense took it's toll on them during the last tour and Jon will not let it happen again.  Alec is out and the world was shocked by the decision that they made, but business is business to Jon.  He eventually falls asleep at the console and stays slumped over the panel until he gets woke up by the buzzer from the gate.  The button the guests had to push to gain access was wired through the whole property.  The buzz startled Jon and he needed a moment to gain his composure.

He walks out of the Shoe Inn to see who is at the top of the driveway and when he sees the car, he has no idea who it is.  It's your standard car service car so to Jon it could be anyone.