Chapter 18

Their relationship was great, at one time.  Olivia loved the fact that she didn't have to answer to anyone, or that she didn't need to ask for permission to do anything. 

She was her own woman and over the course of the last two years, she has learned a lot about herself and what she wanted in a relationship - and she thought that she was on the verge of that, with Jon.  The love that they just made was new and fresh for her.  She had surrendered her heart and threw all of her concerns out the window, and in just a matter of a few seconds, it was all gone.

She gets in her car and hopes that the gate opens automatically, but it doesn't.  She gets angry.  She just wants to get away, as far away as she can to clear her head.  She was just in a situation that she tried to avoid for a long time, an there it was.  Her heart flip flopped in her chest when she learned that Jon didn't tell Dorothea everything.  She thought that she meant enough to him, she thought that he wasn't ashamed of what he had done.  He told her that he loved her.  He told her that he wanted to be with her.

Frustrated, she bangs her hands on her steering wheel, "God damn it!"  She throws the car in park and gets out and pushes the button.  The gate should open, but it didn't.  She's pushing the button, over and over, "Come on, god damn it - open!!"  She keeps pushing the button.  She didn't want to use the call button, she just wanted to leave and be alone.  Jon and Dorothea were in the house talking about whatever and she didn't want to interrupt that.  But she had to.  She pushes the red call button.

"Olivia?" she hears Jon say through the speaker.

"Please open the gate Jon, the button isn't working."

"I'll be right there." he tells her.

She doesn't want to see him, "Please just open the gate, Jon."

No response.  After a few seconds she hears the house on the door slam and Jon jogs to her, "Don't go."

"Let me out."

"Liv, come on - please stay."

With her hands hiding her face, she mumbles, "Just let me leave please.  I need to get away and think about all of this."

"She's leaving.  Please don't go."

"Jon, please open the gate for me."

He can see that she's serious and even though he doesn't want to, he keys in the code and the gate opens.  He watches Olivia climb into the BMW that he bought her.  She puts the car in gear and says, with a lump in her throat, "Goodbye Jon."

His hands slam down on the top of the car.  He is pissed, he doesn't want her go.  He wants to tell her what really happened and why Dorothea didn't know everything.  She drives out of the driveway and he feels that his heart, that his love is in that car and he has no idea on when and if he will ever see her again.

Standing in the driveway, he doesn't know what direction to go.  Dorothea is in the house and she is the last person that he wants to see.  A few more minutes of being a statue in the driveway, he walks back into the house and he is greeted by Dorothea.  "You want a divorce for that, for that Jon?"

"Shut up Dorothea.  Go home."

"I am home."

"I'm not doing this with you right now, go get your car and go home." he demands.  He's a man that was caught telling a half truth and he just needs to figure out how to take care of it and make it all better.  He has begged Olivia for days, weeks and when she finally concedes, when she finally gives in she finds out that he wasn't completely honest. 

It took some doing and it wasn't easy, but he was finally able to get Dorothea to leave, and when she did, he retired to the bedroom and laid in the bed that he just made love to Olivia in.  With the pillow that she laid on tucked under his chest, he laid there and watched TV - trying to figure out what to do.  He knows that he can't call Olivia yet, as she's still pretty pissed.

Olivia makes her way back into the city, back to her paid for apartment and feels like she has just had her head spun in circles.  She can't believe what just happened. what she just witnessed at Jon's and the tone that Dorothea took with her.  Olivia can't help but feel sorry for Dorothea and Jon's children, but she can't also help feeling sorry for herself.

She decided on her drive back home, that she will be moving out of the apartment that Jon provided her and she will buy herself a car.  She doesn't want anything from Jon ever again.  She's made a life for herself and it's time that she started to live it. 

It didn't take long for her to find an apartment.  She found a cute little two bedroom in the meat packing district and was really looking forward to moving.  On the day of the move, the movers were on time and had her packed and gone in just a matter of hours.  Before she left the Manhattan 'love nest', she penned Jon a note in the thought that he might try to see her.

Well, baby cakes, I guess this is it.  As you see, I have vacated your apartment and the car is downstairs in the garage.  The keys are here on the counter.

I'm sorry that it had to come to this and I'm even more sorry that your wife found out about us in a way that you didn't tell me.  She deserved better, I deserved the truth.

I can't hold up my end of the contract any longer, as I'm sure that's obvious.  Do whatever you need to do in the legal system, I expect it. 

If you ever get that divorce that you promised me, give me a call.  It's my hope that you can reconcile with Dorothea and keep your family together.

Thank you for all that you have given me, all that you have taught me and thank you for letting me into your life.  Our last day together, before Dorothea showed up, was one of the best that we have had in a very long time - and to that is what I will hold onto.  I will carry with me the way you made me feel and I will carry with me the look on your face when we were one and there was nothing between us but beads of sweat.

I love you Jon, I truly madly and deeply love you to the moon and back - but I can't keep doing this.

All of my love ~ Liv

She leaves that on the counter, with all of the keys, as she leaves her beautiful Manhattan apartment, the one that her boyfriend paid for.  As she closes the door for the last time, she feels a calm come over her and she reassures herself that she is doing what's best.  She knows that she could never have a normal life living in his apartment, if she stopped seeing him.  She just knows that she is not giving him the opportunity to catch her off guard.

Jon knew in his heart that it was too soon to call her, but as he gets ready to hit the road for a dozen US dates, he can't fight the desire to want to see her.  She is his everything, she is his all.  He's heading into the city to sign some contracts for the tour and he plans to stop by and say hi, even if she doesn't want to see him.  He's missed her.  He's missed seeing her, talking to her and his dreams are lacking her.  He needs his Olivia fix and he's going to get it.

Ringing the bell for her apartment, it goes unanswered.  He rings it again, with his nerves in his stomach.  He rings it again, and then gets the attention of the doorman in the building.  When her sees Jon, he immediately runs to the door and let's him in.  "Hello Mr. Bon Jovi, I'm sorry about that sir."

"Can I have the key for my apartment?" Jon asks, with no affect, no expression.

"Of course, but Miss Olivia isn't here." the doorman tells him, "She moved out last week, sir."

Stunned, Jon says, "WHAT?"

"She moved out last week."

"How do you know?" Jon questions the doorman, not wanting to believe what he just heard.  His pulse is racing as the thought of her being gone is sinking in.  "Where did she go?"

"I seen her with the movers and I'm not sure where she went." 

Getting his wits about him, Jon leaves the doorman and bolts up the 10 flights of stairs, he wasn't waiting for the elevator.  He fumbles with the keys, and when he finally has the lock unlocked he opens the door and stands there.  Everything that he bought for her apartment was still there.  Once he's inside, he closes the  door behind him and slowly walks through the apartment.  When he gets to the kitchen, he sees the note.  He takes it in his hand and starts to read it, tears start to sting his eyes.  Without thought, he sits in the chair that's at the small breakfast table and reads the note several times, his hands shaking and the tears trailing down his cheeks.  He can't believe that she's gone and he has no idea where she went.  Out loud he says, "Why did you leave?  You didn't have to leave.  We could have worked through this."

He folds the note and holds it in his hand, getting up from the table - he checks the refrigerator.  The only thing in there is a bottle of wine that they brought back from Italy over a year ago.  He's sad when he sees that she's saved it because if he knows her, she saved it for a special occasion.  He searches for a corkscrew and finds one.  As soon as the cork is free, he takes the note and the bottle and heads into the bedroom. 

Everything is there, with the exception of all of her personal things.  He can see that the bedding has been changed and that the entire apartment has been cleaned.  There is no sign that someone just moved out, other than the bare refrigerator, her closets were empty and the empty bathroom.  She took her stuff and her stuff only.  His clothes were in his closet and in his drawers.  All of his bathroom items were in his cupboard.  There is no evidence that Olivia, or any woman lived in this apartment at all.

Wine and note in hand, he takes a seat on the edge of the bed and just looks around.  The vaulted ceilings were hollow, and that's okay now - because that is how he feels. 

Bon Jovi hits the road for a small intimate tour, to promote their latest album.