Chapter 6

"My dedication and commitment told you what, if it didn't tell you that I love you."

"Olivia, it's not the same, and you know that."

"Would have meant more if I said it?  Meaning the last couple of years were just what, fun and games for me?"

"Now you're over reacting!"

"Am I?" she snaps at him, "How is being alone for the most important things in my life - over reacting when you were just miles away?  Is it over reacting when my birthday's are spent alone and you, again, are just miles away."

"You knew what it was going to be like when you agreed to the terms.  You knew I was married and that I have kids."

"And I also know that you fell in love with me and started making promises that you knew you couldn't keep." She runs her fingers through her hair, pulling it up on the top of her head and twisting it into a knot. "Things started to go bad for me when you left for this last tour.  I don't want to go through life alone anymore.  AND if you MUST know, I have not had sex with Mark, nor do I plan to."  She has to walk away, she has to take a breather, he has her so worked up right now she may say something that she will later regret.

Jon follows her into the kitchen, where she is leaning on the counter, head hung low.  "Liv, you have to know how much you mean to me.  I never wanted to hurt you."

"Then stop doing it!" she says, slightly looking in his direction.  "I really need to get to bed, I have work in the morning."

"Will you see me tomorrow?" his hand rests on the small of her back, "We could discuss this a little better.  I've had too much to drink and you need to rest."

"What is there to talk about?  I told you that I was done and wanted out of the agreement and for the last couple of months, you have been fine with it..  What changed?"

His hand starts to rub her back and he answers her with 100% honesty, heart on his sleeve, "Seeing you with someone else nearly killed me, and to top it all off, you look happy."

"So that's the green light for disrupting my life after you have laid dormant for months." she steps away from him, a little pissed at what she just heard.  "My happiness isn't deserved after the last two years of being your dirty little secret.  I'm the one that you could only fly with in the middle of the night.  I'm the one that could never go out with you in public and you had to disrupt my life because I was with someone else and I looked happy?  What is wrong with this picture, Jon?"

He walks to her and stops just before they bump noses, "I didn't say that it was right, I'm just being honest with you."

"Go home." she's exhausted from the whole night.  Between Richie, Mark and Jon she's not in the mood for anything but sleep.  "Just go!"

Not another word gets said and Jon does what she wanted.  He leaves her Manhattan apartment and catches a cab to New Jersey, where his wife and children are.

The days that followed were quiet for Olivia.  Jon had left her alone and she ended the little thing that she had going with Mark.  She doesn't want to be with anyone that can't give 100% and she won't be with anyone that's as needy as Mark turned out to be. 

It was a Monday afternoon and Olivia is heading into the hospital for her 24 hour shift.  She can see the light at the end of the tunnel, which represents that in just a few weeks she will be a M.D and done with school altogether.  The pep in her step is high and her attitude just as peppy until she approaches the nurses station of the emergency room.  As she gets closer, she is in awe at the floral arrangement that's sitting there.  "WOW, which on e of you ladies is the lucky one to get these?  What did you have to do?" she jokes with the 4  nurses that she has become quite close with.  They have worked together for months and are all pretty close.

Jessica, the charge nurse says, "We were going to ask you that.  What did you have to do?"  The nurses laugh as they see Olivia face go from one of awe to question.

"These are for me?" she gets closer, smelling the multiple colors of roes, "Who are they from?"

"The card is sealed, so we don't know.  Open it."  replies Stacy, the LPN on duty.

Olivia reaches up and opens the card, all it says is:

I'll never miss another birthday ~ jbj

She clutches the card to her chest and has no idea what to think.  She thought that they were through with all of this.  After a moment of being speechless, she tells the nurses, "Please take these to the pediatrics ward....take them anywhere, but I don't want them here."  With one fast swoop, she pulled the only white rose out of the vase and walked to her locker, where she will get ready for her night.

She finds a piece of string laying around, looked like a spool of suture that someone had dropped.  She wrapped it around the stem of the rose and hung it upside down in her locker, where she leaves it to dry while she starts her rounds.  The note is safely tucked in her doctor coat pocket, where she finds herself taking it out and re reading it time after time.

The days pass and there was no further communication from Jon, she figures that he must have given up when she didn't call him or email him to thank him for the stunning arrangement.  She had heard through the grapevine that he was in the Midwest, touring, so maybe that's why?  She didn't know and right now, she didn't care.