Chapter 24

For a moment, Jon freezes, when he tries to figure out why she would just show up in Miami.  He had no warning, no idea that she was even paying attention to what he was up to or doing. 

"Is everything okay?" he asks her, standing to start the pacing.  He always paces when he's unsure, when he's stressed and when he's worried.  And honestly, he's not sure what he's feeling right now.

"Everything is fine." Olivia responds, "I'm here because I miss you, Jon."

"Why now, why after all of this time?" he questions her, "It's been months, why now?"  He knows that soon he needs to get ready for the show, but he can't do what he needs to do.  Talking with and being with her was more important at this time. 

Olivia stands up and walks to the window that he was looking out when she walked in, and she had a look for herself, "I have missed you this whole time, wanted to call you, wanted to see you - but I needed to get me right first."

"Right?" Jon replies, "What was wrong with you?"

"Everything was wrong with me Jon.  Look at the way I left things with you."

"That was wrong." he smirks, "That was all wrong."

"You know what I mean." she walks away from the window, directing her attention to anywhere in the room but his face.  His face was a big weakness for her.  From the corner of her eye, she sees him slide the bandana back on his head.  "When I moved to Salt Lake, I was sure that's where I was going to stay."

"Now you're not?"

"NO.  How can I be sure when I'm presented with teaching at Princeton?"

"Well, you obviously took the job, right?"

"I did and I didn't."

He laughs, "Sounds like you."

"Jon....."

"I don't mean anything bad by it, but you always overthink things and often think yourself out of the best decision for you.  I guess that comes with being so smart, huh?"

She smiles, "Screw you!"  She watches him sit in the window seat, draw his legs up and gaze out the window.  "I can't help but think that it's a sign of some kind."  When he doesn't react at all, not a movement or even a word, she can feel herself getting warm.  The pressure that she put on herself by just showing up on his tour was intense.  She had visions of how well, rather, how bad it could go and so far none of what she has imagined has happened. 

His gaze is fixed on the people below walking up and down the street, without looking at her he asks, "What kind of sign?"

"That I'm supposed to be with you." 

"How can you say that, after all this time?  How unfair do you think that this is?"

"Unfair?" she questions, sitting on the couch, watching him look out at what he's looking at.  "What do you mean unfair?"

He turns his head and looks at her, "I am thrilled to see you, but what did you think would happen just showing up here, three months after you told me to stay out of your life?  Damn, Liv - you moved across the country."

"I know, I'm sorry." she looks him in the eye, "I'm really sorry Jon."

"And sorry is supposed to fix it?" he snaps at her, remembering how he felt the day that she sent him the final goodbye.  "An email told me to fuck off and you were gone."

"You know that isn't what I meant, I'd never tell you to fuck off."

"It's been three months Olivia." he snaps again, feeling even worse now.  The rawness of her last email was creeping up on the inside and he was starting to get upset.  "I begged you, I pleaded with you........."

She blurts out, "I know, I said I was sorry, Jon.  What do you want me to do?"

Without hesitation and without giving it further thought, he gives her a one word answer, "Leave."

Olivia feels like she has been kicked in the gut and the wind has been knocked out of her.  He literally took her breath away by saying something she never thought that he would.  "You really want me to leave?" she asks, slowly getting to her feet.

Jon, still sitting in the window, nods his head yes.  "I'll find you before I leave Miami."